Love One Another

Being back in the States and interacting with different people, especially at church, has been interesting after being gone for so long. It’s different now because I’ve been living overseas. A lot of people know who I am and ask me questions about what I’ve been doing and what I plan to do in the future. I know that some of these people would be interested in me and my life no matter what I was doing, but I think some people are more interested in my life because I’ve been overseas. I don’t know if they think I’m special because of where I’ve been or if they’re intrigued because the stories I can tell are so different from what they experience day-to-day or if it’s because they read my emails and want to know more. Probably it’s a combination of these things along with some other things that I haven’t thought of. And I’m sure it’s different for everyone. (Now some of you reading this are probably wondering whether or not you’re one of the people I’m talking about, and others of you will begin to wonder that as you continue reading. I want you to know that I’m not placing anyone in categories, and no matter what motivates you to be interested in my life enough to ask how things are going (and to read my blog), I truly appreciate all of your prayers, all of your emails, and all of the conversations we’ve had, whether long or short. Thank you for investing in my life and for being part of my journey.)

My increased “visibility” has allowed me to interact with people that I probably wouldn’t have met otherwise. People invite me to their homes to share more about what I’m doing. People ask me how things are going and how they can be praying. People tell me stories about ways they’re reaching out to their friends and neighbors. People help connect me with useful resources and with other people who are involved with similar things. It’s great! It encourages me, reminds me that I’m not alone, and spurs me on to do more.

But then I began to think…Why doesn’t everyone interact like this? Isn’t this the way the Church should be? Loving one another, fellowshipping together, eating together, having all things in common, encouraging each other, and spurring one another on to love and good deeds. What’s keeping us from deeper friendships with fellow believers? What’s keeping us from praying more for one another and from offering help and resources to our brothers and sisters? Our Father has all the resources in the world – we just have to share them with one another. And I’m not talking about money. I’m talking about people and about fellowship – iron sharpening iron. What’s keeping us from living a community lifestyle like the first church in Acts? I think it has to do with individuals and families taking the time to invest in the lives of other individuals and families.

I’m so grateful to all of you who have taken the time to invest in my life. So many of you have said and done things that have truly encouraged me and helped make me who I am and who I will be. Most of you probably have no idea how much of an impact you’ve made and are making in my life. For that, I thank you!! Now think, who else around you needs some kind words of encouragement? Who else can you spend quality time with? Only together can we live the life that Jesus came to give us.

“By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35)

My First Quilt

Not many of you know, but recently I started quilting. I thought about making a quilt before I went to India the first time but didn't have time to finish. I cut out a few pieces and sewed them together, but then I packed up all of my fabric and put it away before leaving for India. When I got back to Texas in December, I decided to pull it out and see how far I could get. I ended up almost finishing it before I left again, but not quite. Yesterday I finally felt ambitious enough to get it back out and put on the finishing touches, so finally, last night I finished it!! Here are some pictures:

The Longest Month of my Life

Many of you have been asking about my trip. Honestly, it was a roller coaster ride! It was really hard, but it was also really good. I'll write more details about different parts of my trip as I process through them, but here's an overview. This timeline is based on a conversation I had with Sara while we were in Delhi. We'd been there for about 2 1/2 days, but we both agreed that it felt like a week. I told her that the whole trip had felt like that for me, and then I began counting the "weeks" I'd spent in India. Here's the recap:

Week 1: I spent 40+ hours travelling from Houston to our apartment. Those 40 hours included two 8-9 hour plane rides, a layover in London, a talkative drunk man sitting next to me on one of my flights, the exciting news that India beat Pak. in cricket, helping a Swedish girl find the train station in Delhi, a 8 hour bus ride, and a winding, mountainous, taxi ride. I went from being in Houston, TX to being in the foothills of the Himalayas. It's like a totally different world! One of my new friends in India said, "It's so crazy! When we're here [in India] it's hard to imagine that a place like America exists, and when we're in America, it's hard to imagine that a place like India exists." It's so true. So that has to count as a "week."

Week 2: I reached our apartment late on March 31 and stayed through April 4. I spent the time visiting some friends and clinging to Jesus. As some of you may remember from my emails, it was a very difficult time for me, but I was glad to be able to cling to the One who is always with us, even through our troubles.

Weeks 3 & 4: I went out to visit the school from April 5-13. As soon as I neared the school, I remembered why I love India so much! I had a fabulous time reuniting with friends and teaching classes. I love teaching. I love the people there. I love being in the mountains. I love the villages. It was a great visit, though a bittersweet one because I was reuniting with friends and saying goodbye to them at the same time. There was a Sunday in the middle, our one-day weekend, so of course that divided my visit into two "weeks."

Week 5: I went back to the city on the evening of the 13th and spent the evening and night at one of our friend's house. Then early in the morning, I took a bus to the next city over to meet Sara. We spent most of the day there, and then came back to our apartment in the evening. We spent the evening with the family that Sara had lived with, and the returned to our apartment around 11pm. I had left my phone in our room, and came back to 10 missed calls from a number I didn't know. In the morning, they called again, and it turned out to be one of my friends at the school calling to tell me that our friend, Sangeeta, had died in a car accident the evening before (on the 14th). I couldn't believe it. I called someone else to confirm. Time stopped or sped up or something. I rushed back to the school almost immediately.

Week 6: I reached the school on the morning of the 15th and then went with some of the other teachers to Sangeeta's village to mourn with her mother and aunts. When we reached her village and I remembered being there in October with Sangeeta, her death suddenly became very real to me. I cried a lot that day. And the next. I spent the night at the school because I couldn't imagine rushing back to town and being with friends who didn't know Sangeeta and wouldn't understand. I just wanted to be with my friends at the school. It's like home to me, and I was with people that loved Sangeeta like I did.

Week 7: On the 16th, I eventually made my way back to the city to be with Sara and to begin going through all the stuff stored at our apartment. I didn't want to be there. I wanted to be at the school. But we had work to do. I made plans to take Sara to visit the school on the 19th, but it seemed like an eternity away. A lot of my friends in town asked about why I'd gone back to the school so quickly, so I told them about my friend, Sangeeta. Most of them had read about her car accident in the newspaper, but not many of them knew her. I did my best to enjoy my time with friends there and to get done all the sorting, selling, and packing that Sara & I had to do, but it was difficult a lot of the time. I cried a lot the first day, but gradually less and less each day. I was pretty overwhelmed, but I had to keep moving forward. I had a slight breakdown once, but thankfully Sara was there to sit with me and talk with me some.

Week 8: April 19 finally came, and Sara & I went back to the school for a visit. As always, it was great to be back! Sara left on the morning of the 20th, and I stayed until the evening of the 20th. I was glad to see everyone at the school one last time, and I cried as I left. My heart really is with my friends at the school.

Week 9: I joined Sara in town on the evening of the 20th to take care of last minute details of packing, gifting, and selling our things. We spent the 21st saying goodbye to all of our friends (and of course drinking chai (tea) with each of them). We ate lunch twice (due to a mix up in planning), and drank about 10 thousand cups of chai. At the last house, I managed to drop a full, steaming hot cup of tea in my lap. Ouch!! Don't worry, though, they quickly brought me a new cup. (Just what I wanted, more tea!)

Weeks 10-12: Sara & I left for Delhi on the morning of the 21st and reached there in the evening. I spent a calendar week there visiting with different people to explore the options for the future. Sara and I had our conversation about having been in Delhi for a "week" on the morning of the 26th. She was planning to leave the night of the 27th, and I was staying until the night of the 29th, so I told her that I still had 2 more weeks in India -- one with her and one without her. That put my total at 3 "weeks" in Delhi. I spent that time meeting with a couple people almost every day. It was a good balance of having enough to do, but not having too much to do. On some level, it was information overload, but it was encouraging to hear about what other people are doing in India.

So that's how April 2011 became the longest month of my life. That's the "math" that made 4 weeks seem like 12 in my mind. I'd love to share more with you personally about my time in India if you're interested. And I'll definitely keep you updated as I process and pray and figure out what my next steps will be. Thanks again for being part of this journey with me!

One.Life

So, I'm reading this book. It's called One.Life by Scot McKnight, and it's absolutely fabulous!! I highly recommend it! It will revolutionize the way you think about the Kingdom of God. You can buy it on amazon.com, or you can borrow it from me at some point. Get a copy any way you can, and then read it!!! YAY!! :)

Chaos...but somehow there's peace

Since I've been back in the States, I’ve gotten the chance to tell a lot of people about all the changes I’ve faced over the past year & a half and about the uncertainty and changes I’m still facing as I wait for God to show me His next steps for my life. It’s been really encouraging to be able to talk with a lot of you face to face and realize how many of you are praying for me up during this time of transition in my life. Thankfully, God has taught me through all these changes that I need to rest in Him and not rely on my own abilities to try to create a plan for my own life. In a lot of ways, I have peace knowing that God holds my future in His hands and that I can completely trust Him not to drop me. He has and will always be faithful.

Knowing all that I do about God’s faithfulness, I’d like to be able to say that I have no doubts and worries about the future. Some of you seem to have gotten that impression from talking with me, but I want to set the record straight. Sure, I have my good moments when I am content to rest in His will no matter what that might bring, but on the inside, I’m really kind of stressed out about it all. I think about the whole world of possibilities (I literally could go just about anywhere in the world), and I wonder if I will make the right choices and how I’ll know whether or not I’m making the right choices. I wonder what I should be looking for in a new place and what I have to offer. And then as I think about the future, I wonder how long I’ll even be in the next place once I do find one. Will it be a year, 2 years, maybe longer? But then what? Then I’ll be alone again. It seems like the only thing that’s certain is change.

Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not saying that I am completely discouraged and stressed about the future. Honestly, I’m kind of excited because it’s when I have the least amount of control over the situation that I give God the most room to work, and His ideas are always WAY better than mine. I know He has good plans for me both for the immediate future and for the long-haul. He will provide for me always and orchestrate everything perfectly.

This is the battle that’s going on within my heart and mind. I know God in good, and I know He gives good gifts, and I know He will provide. I feel like that means I should be at peace with everything and content in all circumstances as He tells us to be, but honestly, I don’t feel like that. I can’t keep stuffing these emotions down, because I know that’s not healthy, either. As many of you know, I’m an extrovert and an external processor. (That means I don’t process things just by thinking about them, but mostly by talking about them or writing about them. I have to get things outside of my head in order to deal with them.) Although I have gotten to talk to a lot of people about my situation, I haven’t really gotten to talk a lot to people about my situation. (Did you catch the difference? a lot of people versus a lot of talking.) I get to about the same surface level with almost everyone, and I don’t really get to dig deeper into what I’m thinking and feeling about things. And often that means that I don’t even know what I’m thinking and feeling about things because I have a hard time sorting through it all until I start talking and just see where that takes me. I’ve had one or two people that I’ve talked to about the deeper parts of what I’m thinking and feeling, but that’s about it. Those friendships have meant a lot to me over the past couple months. And writing this post has been somewhat helpful, too, enabling me to get a lot of this stuff out of my head. Sometimes that’s all I need. I just need to vent and get the thoughts out of my head so that my head doesn’t explode. I don’t necessarily need answers right now – I don’t think I’m ready for answers yet. I just need to accept the feelings I have and give them to God, so He can meet me exactly where I am. So thanks for listening/reading. I really appreciate it more than you know. Thank you for being part of my journey.

He has always been faithful and He will continue to be faithful forevermore!

I love this passage!!!

We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves. And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophecies, but test everything; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil.

Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.

1 Thessalonians 5:12-24

International Princess Project

This is an awesome organization in India that one of my friends told me about.

Click this link to see their website.

Click this link to see their video on youtube.

Just the beginning

Well, I'm definitely not the best blogger in the world, or the most consistent, but that's okay. I am going to try to be a bit more consistent in my blogging over the next couple months, though, because I want to keep y'all updated on my journey with Jesus through my ongoing decision making process. I don't know how consistent I'll be, but I'll try.

This is just the beginning of my adventure overseas....

(that's what I keep reminding myself)

Before I left India, I was working at a school for village kids. I really love the kids and other teachers at the school, and I really enjoy teaching. Distance and time away from India, however, have allowed me to objectively reflect on my time at the school, and I've realized that it's not a sustainable long-term option for me. I was building relationships with people around me and learning a lot about the culture in the area, especially through frequent visits to the nearby villages, so I don't think my time at the school was wasted. I'm praying for God to show me the next step for the future.

Another factor that has brought me into this decision making process and opened the door to a world of possibilities (literally) is the need for community. When I was at the school, I had limited fellowship (usually none at all) with other believers because I was living in a different city than all the believers I knew. Now, looking at the possibility of going back, those people I are all in different places, and none of them have plans to return to India within the next 2 years. I can't and won't go anywhere unless I know I'll have people nearby who can offer encouragement and support. I can't survive alone.

So where does this leave me? Well, over the past couple days, I've said, "It's like I have 10 thousand options and zero options at the same time." I've talked with a lot of people, and we're on the same page. I'd to go back to India long-term but not unless I find a sustainable situation that works for me. I'm considering a few different general options right now, some in India and some in other countries, but at this point I'm not rushing into any decisions. I have plane tickets to India for March 29, and my visa still allows me to go back to India for 6 months at a time, so I'll probably go back and spend a couple more months at the school. After that I'll take care of the things we still have in India and possibly visit some other people working in the country. Again, I haven't really made any definite decisions yet.

I'd love it if you would pray for me through this time, asking that He will open and close doors as He desires. Pray that I will be at peace with each step as He walks me through them. Thank you for your patience and understanding during this time of uncertainty and change in my life. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me.

Whatever You're Doing ~ Sanctus Real

...It's time to find my way to where I belong

There's a wave that's crashing over me

And all I can do is surrender

Whatever You're doing inside of me

It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace

It's hard to surrender to what I can't see

but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone

Time to begin again

Reevaluate who I really am

Am I doing everything to follow Your will

Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills

So show me what it is You want from me

I give everything I surrender...